Auntemma’s Blog

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How to deal with sticky situations with your nanny

 Parents are sometimes faced with situations whereby they know they have hired the right nanny and she is definitely great at what she does, but there just seems to be a trend in some of the things she does that are just not rubbing you the right way or things you just don’t agree with.  Depending on the situation, the nanny could be unaware of your feelings.  Some families feel uncomfortable bringing the situation up because they feel it just might ruin the relationship you have between you and your nanny. But just like any other relationship, it must be talked about otherwise it remains a ticking bomb waiting to explode at the wrong time.

1.    Don’t bring up the matter when you feel that you are not emotionally stable to discuss it. In other words don’t bring it up  when you are angry. You just might regret a lot of the things you say.

2.    Make sure you have facts, not assumptions on the matter.

3.    Schedule a meeting with the nanny, don’t just blurt it out when you see her.

4.    After you have brought up the matter, allow her to explain her actions.

5.    After you have heard her reasoning, let her know that you were not happy with the issue and suggest other options.

6.    Let her know that you appreciate her work overall.


Some of these sticky situations are just creases that can easily be ironed out if handled maturely. Always give your nanny another chance to prove herself. Remember your nanny is a stand-in for you when you are not around, She takes the time to care and love your children. Your children have grown to love and appreciate her and you don’t want small matters to cause huge unnecessary ramifications, which could have been easily avoided.



Filed under: SICK TIME/PERSONAL TIME AND HOLIDAY — auntemma @ 12:07 am



A full time nanny is certainly obligated to paid sick time, up to seven working days per year.

Personal time off is usually granted when nannies have doctor’s appointments, Emergency family member situations, jury duty and the like and are usually compensated. If the nanny has gone over the limit of her paid sick time days, there is an option for the both of you to discuss whether she is willing to trade-in those hours for a weekend or weeknight




Most public holiday pay is usually offered to the full-time nanny and sometimes part-time nannies. Public holidays can be a bit tricky because not all of them are usually honored. You want to make sure that those specific holidays are drafted on the contract so that there is no assumption made by the nanny and the parent. If you ask your nanny to come in on an obvious public holiday because perhaps you need to get your hair done or take care of everyday errands that you usually don’t have time for, the compensation is usually a time and half for that day. It’s always good to offer an incentive if in fact she is available, because a regular pay rate on a holiday is definitely not an incentive.



Filed under: PACKAGE OF A FULL-TIMER AND A PART-TIMER — auntemma @ 11:57 pm



A part-time position is made of 30 hours or less. The hourly rate or salary range of a part-timer is not any less than that of a full-timer. The perks that are usually not promised to a part-timer are, paid vacation time, paid sick time, paid family leave and medical benefits package. Under normal circumstances a part-time nanny should have paid public holidays that fall under her regular work hours. Now, you have a choice of honoring paid vacation, paid sick time, paid family leave and medical benefits as an incentive. Most part-time nannies are either students or people that are doing the job for a short period of time or perhaps don’t fancy the idea of becoming a full-time nanny. There is usually no standard commitment given to a part-timer, so in a way you as the parent and her as the nanny run the risk of pulling out at any time. In this case, you really want to make sure that both of you have really understood each other as far as commitment is concerned just so to avoid any mishaps. It’s also advisable to draft a contract that is feasible to both parties just to enhance a clear understanding of what is expected.




A full-time position is made up of 40 or more hours per week. A full-time package includes paid vacations, paid holidays, paid sick time and perhaps medical benefits if offered. In a case of a full-timer it is crucial for both of you to draft a nanny contract so that there is a clear understanding of what is offered as far as pay, work hours, nannies responsibilities and commitment. If at all you decide to change the hours to less than initially promised, be sure to communicate with your nanny way ahead of time. This allows the nanny some time to decide whether it would be feasible for her to continue with the position and or to come up with other options of filling in for the extra hours.



Filed under: NANNY VACATION — auntemma @ 11:55 pm


 A full time nanny is legible for paid vacation, which consists of 10 working days or more per year, depending on what you both agree upon. When the family goes on vacation, the nanny is usually obligated for her full salary regardless. Keep in mind that she makes a living from this salary, if you decide to go to Asia for a month, she has to be compensated for that time.  Most parents especially who travel a lot tend to feel some kind of “loss” by paying the nanny for the times traveled feeling like the nanny gets too much paid time off. Quite honestly, she should not have to suffer for the times you decide to travel.

Other options some families come up with is, to try and coincide the nanny vacations with the family vacations if possible.  The only thing I find tricky about this move is that, the nanny is sometimes forced to take her vacation the same time the family goes on vacation, even when it is inconvenient for her. The best way is to perhaps let her make the decision of when she would like to take her vacation then you coincide with hers. Some times nannies can feel controlled as far as when they should take their vacation, instead of offering her the leisure of what works for her. A suggestion that might seem to work is to perhaps agree on allowing the nanny to take the week of her choice and the other week to coincide it with the family.



Filed under: FIRING OR LETTING GO OF THE NANNY — auntemma @ 4:10 am


Firing anyone can be challenging because of the emotions involved during the procedure. There are reasons that a nanny should be fired, especially if it’s a situation that jeopardizes the life of your child.

These are some of the reasons a nanny should be fired or let go.

  • If the nanny has more than once neglected to buckle the child on the car seat.
  • If the nanny has more than twice dropped the infant.
  • If the nanny has left the children unattended in the house/park by themselves with no supervision
  • If the nanny is stealing from you
  • If the nanny has several times shown no regard for the child’s safety.
  • If the nanny has taken the initiative to strike your child without your consent in the name of discipline
  • If the nanny has sexually abused the child. (this is a police involvement case)
  • If your nanny has more than once forgotten to pick up the child/children from school
  • If your nanny is doing drug and alcohol abuse in your home
  • If your nanny sleeps when the children are awake
  • If your nanny has several times shown no regard to your instructions


Firing or letting go of the nanny should be handled cautiously to avoid ramifications. On the day you decide to fire the nanny, make sure you have the nanny’s paycheck ready, explain to her with proof why you are letting her go. Make sure you get your house keys, garage cards and whatever else belonging to the household. Depending on the circumstance, you may or may not choose to change alarm codes, garage codes, house locks.

Soon after, explain to your children the situation and why you chose to let the nanny go. If you will rehire another nanny, let her know about the nanny your fired and the reason you fired her for, so that the same mistake is not repeated twice.

If however, the reason of letting go of the nanny is not based on the nanny’s fault, but on an alternative child care route like daycare (which can be much cheaper) then it is fair to alert the nanny the other options you are looking into, and give her ample time notice so that she can find another job. It is understandable to make a financial wise decision if you feel the expense of carrying on with the nanny is too expensive, but be honest with your nanny. Some families tend to do look for daycares on the hush without the nanny’s knowledge, after the child has been accepted to the daycare, that’s when the family wants to fire the nanny. That is not the best way to deal with it especially if you are looking into having the same nanny babysit for you occasionally. Be upfront and have an open communication with your nanny, it will make your relationship between you and your nanny worth the while.

If you have to let your nanny go due to unavoidable circumstances, the employer needs to give a one month notice to the nanny if her services will no longer be needed and or a one month severance pay. Also let the nanny know that you are willing to give yourself as a reference for her and opting to help the nanny advertise on her behalf is a nice way of letting the nanny know her services were much appreciated.



Filed under: SIGNS THAT A CHILD IS NOT WELL CARED FOR — auntemma @ 9:44 pm



We can all appreciate children that are well cared for by either a daycare service or a nanny or whoever it is you entrust your child to while you are away. Children that are exuberant when dropping them to the caretaker or are excited to see the nanny is a great sign that the child is getting the care and attention it deserves. A child that talks about the caretaker is also a good sign, it shows that the child misses the nanny and we all know you only miss the ones you love. On the other hand, there are some signs to take into consideration that can raise a red flag towards your child’s caretaker.


  • Constant diaper rash, if your child is constantly having diaper rashes, it’s definitely a question of whether your nanny is paying close attention to your child’s diaper schedule. Any child that is being well cared for should not have a series of constant diaper rashes. But before you can assume negligence, find out from the nanny how often she changes the child’s diaper and or ask her to write down every time she changes the diaper. This is a sign that is not to be ignored.
  • Untidiness, if you notice your child is always unkempt, hair not brushed, or face, nose and hands not wiped, clothes looking raggedy and dirty throughout the day, then it’s certain, there is some sign of neglect.
  • Withdrawal, abnormal behavior of the child becoming depressed and antisocial, could also mean that possibly the child is not getting the attention it needs.
  • Hunger, now a hungry child is not completely a result of neglect, but is a sign not to be ignored. Some children have a tendency of refusing to eat when asked by the nanny, simply because the child might be holding back from the nanny’s instructions. But if your child seems to be hungry on a constant basis, find out from your nanny how often and what kinds of food she feeds your child. Draft a feed schedule form that lists times and what kinds of food.
  • Fear, if the child is always fearful when dropping him or her to the caretaker, then you definitely need to look into the matter.

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