Auntemma’s Blog

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Filed under: IMPROVING PARENT/NANNY COMMUNICATION — auntemma @ 10:12 pm



Communication between you and your nanny is vital.  Both the parent and nanny must encourage communication as much as possible. Effective communication between you and your nanny contributes a great deal to the way your nanny showcases her professional care towards your child.  As the parent, its important to keep up with the details of your child’s developments, new skills acquired, behaviors and such.


At the end of every week try and get home ten to fifteen minutes earlier to discuss with the nanny how your child’s week has been overall such as, concerns she might have towards your child, difficulties she might have stumbled across through the week when taking care of your child and suggestions she might want to share to improve any matter.

Discussing with the nanny about the child’s needs or concerns is a great sign to the nanny because it shows her that her work is not taken for granted or lightly, and can also create a great bond between you and your nanny which is a great plus to your child.


Take the time to discuss with the nanny if she’s happy with her work, whether or not she is has come across any challenges in her position and if so, what do you both feel can be done to improve those situations. So many nannies carry a lot of burdens and resentments inside them and because the parents do not make room for discussions, the situations are left unresolved which can cause a snowball effect that can sometimes end in disaster. In some cases of where a nanny has turned out to be abusive to the children, its  just end results of lack of communication between both parties (nanny and parent) and due to frustrations that have been lingering, the nanny ends up taking it out on the child.

 Allow the nanny to feel that you are approachable and that she can come to you with whatever concern she has. There is absolutely no reason for your nanny to feel intimidated by you, your child is important and its important for you to be aware of your nanny’s outlook in her position.


Be open with your nanny let her know how you feel based on her overall performance, good or bad. Always encourage an open communication between you and your nanny.


Parents are sometimes faced with situations whereby they know they have hired the right nanny and she is definitely great at what she does, but there just seems to be a trend in some of the things she does that are just not rubbing you the right way or things you just don’t agree with.  Depending on the situation, the nanny could be unaware of your feelings.  Some families feel uncomfortable bringing the situation up because they feel it just might ruin the relationship you have between you and your nanny. But just like any other relationship, it must be discussed otherwise it remains a ticking bomb waiting to explode at the wrong time.

1.    Don’t bring up the matter when you feel that you are not emotionally stable to discuss it. In other words don’t bring it up  when you are angry. You just might regret a lot of the things you say.

2.    Make sure you have facts, not assumptions on the matter.

3.    Schedule a meeting with the nanny, don’t just blurt it out when you see her.

4.    After you have brought up the matter, allow her to explain her actions.

5.    After you have heard her reasoning, let her know that you were not happy with the issue and suggest other options.

6.    Let her know that you appreciate her work overall. Not only when you have a crease to straighten should you express your appreciation, but also when it’s unexpected. A card with the words “thank you”, a gift card to her favorite store, a massage certificate or monetary gifts are a great way of expressing the family’s gratitude towards your nanny.


Some of these sticky situations are just creases that can easily be ironed out if handled maturely. Unless the situation is life-threatening, always give your nanny another chance to prove herself.


Don’t compare yourself to the nanny- some parents have a tendency of comparing themselves with the nanny with the mindset of who does it better. This way of thinking is very wrong and can cause a major rift in your relationship with your nanny. It’s true that mommy knows best, but depending on the circumstance it will be good to hear the nanny’s ideas based on her professional background. Allowing the nanny to come up with some suggestions in helping bring up your child is a great way of displaying team work between you and your nanny and leaves a great door of a healthy communication between the both of you.


Remember your nanny is a stand-in for you when you are not around, She takes the time to care and love your children. Your children have grown to love and appreciate her and you don’t want small matters to cause huge unnecessary ramifications, which could have been easily avoided through effective communication.


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