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FAMILY NIGHTMARE October 29, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — auntemma @ 5:18 pm
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http://www.foxnews.com/us/2012/10/29/alleged-new-york-killer-nanny-reportedly-awake-and-talking/

I have to admit, this has probably been the worst nightmare that has ever take place in the nanny industry.. I have really cried upon hearing this dreadful news.. My heart and prayers goes out to the mourning family that lost their two beautiful children in this most tragic event.. never to be forgotten…

It seems like the nanny had been facing some challenges in her life that she obviously brought to her work place and caused her do this incriminating act of murder to the children she was taking care of. There is simply no acceptable excuse for what she did. As I follow the story, it seems that the family had noticed a change in her behaviour and requested that she would see psychological help.

In my book “How to get the best out of your Nanny” I talk about “nanny characteristics for hire” I also list “tell-tale signs during a nanny interview” it is vital that you as the parent hiring to pay attention to certain behaviours during the interview and also in the course of the nanny working for you. Don’t ignore the signs!! A source in the news, says that the family the nanny worked for recommended their nanny to babysit for their friend as a side gig, but did not go forth with hiring her because they noticed that she was “grumpy”.
It’s important that the nanny you hire is psychological and mentally fit for the position, pay attention to her moods, talk to her about her life outside of work, go out for dinners once in a while and get a feel for what is really going on with her, create the atmosphere of an open relationship with you where she can feel she can talk to you about herself. These are very important, especially since she is caring for the most priced possession you will ever own.

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Are you nurturing your child’s gift?

Filed under: Uncategorized — auntemma @ 3:20 pm
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A friend of mind and I were enjoying  a conversation on different ways of child upbringing and ways of how as a parent/caregiver can contribute to making sure you child fulfills his/her purpose.

Like I mentioned in my blog prior to this one, understanding your child’s love language is vital because in doing so you help bring out the best in your child. I also give five steps of how to successfully identify your child’s love language. Nurturing your child’s gifts are just as important.  I sometimes come across parents who impose on their children what they expect them to become, and in such instances I find there seems to be some withdrawals in the relationship between parents and children. 

As a parent/caregiver, you must allow you child to express its purpose and you as the caregiver your responsibility is to nurture it.  In my personal experience as a nanny, i take on the responsibility of exploring various classes/activities i think the child might enjoy. In this particular instance, I thought that enrolling my 3.5 year old girlie girl into a ballet class was brilliant, i mean which girl does not like ballet I thought, after all she loooveed to watch “angelina ballerina”, but to my utmost surprise, she cried and cried throughout the class, she just hated it.. I was confused and the same time sad that i had contributed to her sadness by assumption and so instead of forcing her into it, i let it go and told her whenever she is ready we would try it again, but i let her know, she didn’t have to. A lady whose child was in the same ballet class thought to advice me to just keep taking her and that she would just adjust… I thought to myself “whaaattt?, I don’t think so” Is the ballet class for me or for her.. she is big enough to decide and just because she is a girl, does NOT mean she must comply with peoples expectations, plus my responsibility is not to put her thru trauma by letting her cry each time she was going to ballet, my responsibility as her nanny is to make sure she is happy and secure.

A lot of parents want to live their lives vicariously through their children, forcing them to participate and do things they do not want to do. Your child came into this world with a purpose of its own, not to do the things that you wished that you had done or want to do.

Take time to examine what your child likes to do, It might be your child loves drums or musical instruments yet you don’t care for music, well you can’t say you are not going to invest in buying drums because you hate noise, that’s selfish.. maybe playing drums for child brings out the best out of them and maybe he/she is called to be one of the best drummers their generation has ever known, DON’T ROB your child of it’s calling because you come from a family line of doctors and yet your child chooses the path of a drummer, who is to say which occupation is better. Status is not everything, but being happy with what you are is worth more than anything. So let your child free, Identify the gift and nurture it.  I promise you, he/she will be the happiest loving child.

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Do you understand your child’s language of love? October 18, 2012

Filed under: Uncategorized — auntemma @ 2:15 am
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In my years of experience as a nanny, I have realized the importance of quality care. It goes further than just feeding the children and changing diapers, it’s also about how your care for the child psychologically and making sure they are shaped and molded to becoming confident with themselves. How do you as the caregiver and parent nurture their future? and have you really taken the time to study the child’s language of love so that you can deal with them effectively?
Gary chapman, an author of the best-selling book, The 5 love languages talks about 5 love languages which are the primary ways of expressing and interpreting love. Everyone has a love language and if you can take the time to identify which one speaks to who then you have won that child into a great place for the rest of her life. You will then learn how to bring the best out of that child in a great way.
The five love languages are:
Words of affirmation
Quality time
Receiving gifts
Acts of service
physical touch

When you take care or have multiple children, it’s so easy to think that one love language works for all, but that is not true. Every child is different in their own way and being able to see and identify their love language will help you relate with the child better.

I have been reading a book that has helped me in many areas called ” seven laws of a learner” by bruce wilkinson.
One of the strategies he talks about in getting results with the people you influence is learning how to communicate and connect inorder to get a response. As a nanny and parent, you want to make sure that you are getting results you want from your children, but in order to do so you must learn to do 5 things
1. Examine- Take time to examine your child’s behaviours take note of the weaknesses and strengths
2. Expose- When you see your child improving on a certain area of difficulty such as potty training or behavioral issues. Always affirm their action in a positive way
3. Emotion- After affirming positively their behaviour, let them know how that made you feel
4. Expect- Now speak about the expectations of that behaviour in the future, help them see what a great impact it will be to them later in life.
5. Endear-Always end by affirming them with a touch or eye contact or a hug.

Click on this link to buy “NANNY ETIQUETTE”
http://www.amazon.com/NANNY-ETIQUETTE-ebook/dp/B008Y0BUZW/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1345080115&sr=8-2&keywords=nanny+etiquette

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