A friend of mind and I were enjoying a conversation on different ways of child upbringing and ways of how as a parent/caregiver can contribute to making sure you child fulfills his/her purpose.
Like I mentioned in my blog prior to this one, understanding your child’s love language is vital because in doing so you help bring out the best in your child. I also give five steps of how to successfully identify your child’s love language. Nurturing your child’s gifts are just as important. I sometimes come across parents who impose on their children what they expect them to become, and in such instances I find there seems to be some withdrawals in the relationship between parents and children.
As a parent/caregiver, you must allow you child to express its purpose and you as the caregiver your responsibility is to nurture it. In my personal experience as a nanny, i take on the responsibility of exploring various classes/activities i think the child might enjoy. In this particular instance, I thought that enrolling my 3.5 year old girlie girl into a ballet class was brilliant, i mean which girl does not like ballet I thought, after all she loooveed to watch “angelina ballerina”, but to my utmost surprise, she cried and cried throughout the class, she just hated it.. I was confused and the same time sad that i had contributed to her sadness by assumption and so instead of forcing her into it, i let it go and told her whenever she is ready we would try it again, but i let her know, she didn’t have to. A lady whose child was in the same ballet class thought to advice me to just keep taking her and that she would just adjust… I thought to myself “whaaattt?, I don’t think so” Is the ballet class for me or for her.. she is big enough to decide and just because she is a girl, does NOT mean she must comply with peoples expectations, plus my responsibility is not to put her thru trauma by letting her cry each time she was going to ballet, my responsibility as her nanny is to make sure she is happy and secure.
A lot of parents want to live their lives vicariously through their children, forcing them to participate and do things they do not want to do. Your child came into this world with a purpose of its own, not to do the things that you wished that you had done or want to do.
Take time to examine what your child likes to do, It might be your child loves drums or musical instruments yet you don’t care for music, well you can’t say you are not going to invest in buying drums because you hate noise, that’s selfish.. maybe playing drums for child brings out the best out of them and maybe he/she is called to be one of the best drummers their generation has ever known, DON’T ROB your child of it’s calling because you come from a family line of doctors and yet your child chooses the path of a drummer, who is to say which occupation is better. Status is not everything, but being happy with what you are is worth more than anything. So let your child free, Identify the gift and nurture it. I promise you, he/she will be the happiest loving child.
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